Self Empowerment for Women

Self-esteem, relationships, domestic violence, abuse

The Dark Side of Face Book…

The reality of human actions has always been horrifying to say the least.

Internet communication has opened doors to every household on the planet, allowing the innocence of our children to be held captive in a world of negativity and destructive behavior.

We, as parents, must take action and sharpen our own awareness as to what our children are doing when it involves networking on the Internet.

We do not allow our children to talk to strangers on the street or let a stranger in that knocks on our door,  do we? Then why is it, that we allow them to surf the Internet or have a Face Book page without our knowledge? Many children do have unmonitored access to the Internet and yes, they do join Face Book and other social networking sites when they are not being watched. This is where our awareness as a parent is vital.

There has been numerous amounts of excellent information made available to each of us, such as the video above, which screams out to parents to be more aware and to take control of our children’s freedom on the internet. Safety for our children begins in our homes.

The negative thinking and what people are willing to do to make money at the cost of our children’s innocence has always been out there. The Internet has only made is readily available in our own homes at all times.

Where there is a demand, there will be a market. That saying holds an ugly truth when it involves pornography and the innocence of the human mind.

We continuously point the finger of blame in many directions for what may possibly be avoided in what we allow to happen in our lives.

In sharing this post with you, I can only hope that you will become more aware in the fact that you have done everything in your power to keep your Internet doors locked in the name of the safety of your children~

 

Dorothy

 

December 22, 2014 Posted by | Abuse, Women | , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Abuse becomes visible through daily photos for 1 year..The End is Disturbing..

This may or may not be a real situation for the woman in this video, it is however a real fact in so many lives around the globe. I choose to share this with you so that you can read opinions of others that too may have either been or still are a witness to or a victim of abuse. Abuse is a prison in its own. It is to many an impossible situation to escape from. If you have never been mentally or physically abused, you can never conceive of its hold on the victim.   Dorothyl

A woman takes a photo of herself each day for a year long… At the end, the woman is holding a paper on which is written: “Help me, I don’t know if I’ll make it ’till tomorrow.”

Comments below..

Rhiannon Dean · St. Joseph CT
It pissess me off that so many people are judging her for staying for a year. Many people are in this form of relationship for much longer than that even. Abuse it’s not something most people can up and leave from because it permeates their life. Stop being judgemental and start being empathetic.
Reply · Like · 104 · Follow Post · August 1 at 8:12am

Blair Logie
Well most of the time they still stay with them and don’t think that it is an abusive relationship (if you Watch Family guy, Quatmires sister for example). However This woman has shown that she knows that this is an abusive relationship and while she is calling out for help why did she take all those pictures?
Reply · Like · 14 · August 1 at 1:28pm

Mniek Stegenga · Top Commenter
Blair Logie Just try to imagine how much fear you can have for leaving such a person who does this. It needs some extra guts. Apparantly ´this girl found guts´ (not sure if its a real or made for the campagne) by asking for help on the internet. Playing with these kind of people feels like playing with your life.
Reply · Like · 24 · August 1 at 4:16pm

Blair Logie
Mniek Stegenga Apparantely it was a campaign.
Reply · Like · 1 · August 1 at 4:17pm
View 12 more

Beth Colclough · Upright at Self employed business
Until you walk a mile in someones shoes do not judge I spent 8 yrs in an abusive relationship until Ifinally ffoundthe strength and ccourage to leave. Then and only then did the real shit start to happen…

STOP JUDGING YOU KNOW NOTHING!
Reply · Like · 68 · Follow Post · August 1 at 2:42pm

Continue reading

August 6, 2014 Posted by | Women | , , , | Leave a comment

Confusions caused by abuse~

The innocence of a child, will not allow their minds to understand what terror is being put on them during the abuse. They can no more think of killing their abuser than they can a fly on the wall

It worsens when the child knows the abuser, because they have a love and trust that is so innocent, they cannot mistrust. This is where the confusion is set deep into their psyche, causing them to have conflicts with feelings throughout their life. In place of learning love through hugs and smiles, they are taught love through sexual abuse and threats. They have already learnt that the world is not safe. Children quickly learn through instinct to remove their minds from their bodies. They also can manipulate their bodies to go numb in order to not feel any physical contact with the abuser. This is what we call detachment disorder. Abused children are also taught to mistrust any form of physical, emotional and/or verbal love and/or appreciation. 

The abuser will tell them things like, “Daddy loves you and wants to show you how much”, or ” I am teaching you what daddy’s teach their daughters so that you will grow up and know how to be a good woman”. 

So much deception and lies from someone that a child holds dear to their heart. To doubt their abuser when it is their father, only makes them feel like a bad child. They know that their father wants them to love them and smile for them.This makes daddy happy. It is what every child is naturally driven to do. They thrive on their parents smiles and happy feelings. This is the exact thing that an abuser takes advantage of and also poisons through the abuse they inflict on the child. 

The child will also think in two identities if the abuser is her father or her uncle. She will think simply in two parts. Good daddy, bad daddy. This helps her to keep her good daddy image safe, where he is suppose to be. The second daddy will be a figure in a bad dream, not real to her world at all. A child may turn to drawing pictures of her good daddy and bad daddy. Or write very obscure, negative, even offensive poems or stories. These are true signs and most certainly cries for help. Please do not ever underestimate the power of the pen. It will either be a cry for help from someone that cannot use words, or it could be the key to ones doors of healing. 

When the abuser is a family member, this factor alone robs the child of what would be known as a safe nest. The child will never know what a healthy role model is. Nor will this child ever have the experience of innocent nurturing. Unless this child through years of growth, learns to identify with their abuser and confront the abuse,  their healing will never begin. Without this inner healing and peace, one is likely to repeat this horrible act of abuse that they were lead to believe to be a common practice in parenting. 

Victims have no choice but to survive. If they do not commit suicide, they learn to cope. I have mentioned in another article that some use drugs, alcohol, food, cutting ones self and even sex. These are common coping strategies. NO they are not good ones, but for most of the victims that choose that road, it’s the better of the two evils. 

Other victims choose to forget it ever happened, down play the abuse or rationalize it as if it were nothing more than a simple hug or touch. They even go as far as excusing their abusers actions or temper, saying the was drunk or too stressed out from working. Victims will even try to understand and feel sorrow for their abusers. Anything to not accusethem and have to deal with the confusion of the why’s. Some even become so withdrawn into themselves, fearing that they may talk too much, or give a clue to someone about their nightmare. Then all their shame will be seen. So they choose silence instead of risk. 

Denial is another way around facing the reality. But denial has a way of twisting around and returning with a vengeance. To not allow your pain to come up front so you can deal with it, only gives it more time to grow inside of you and get a stronger hold of your mind. Reality and fantasy will also get confused at this point. People will confuse your actions and words with mental illness. Then not only will you have your abuser to contend with, but now others will be trying to force you into another victim situation. Yes, you have done whatever it took to survive this horrible abuse, so now rise above it. It was nothing more than a cause and effect battle. A battle that you have over come!

I continue to show you patterns that are caused by neglecting yourself and allowing yourself to be totally absorbed by an action that was NEVER in your control. Now it is in your control. Now you can do something about it. SO, what are you waiting for? FIGHT!!!! Fight like you are trying to save the life of someone dear to you. Fight like a master and use your power to say, “Go to hell“. Scream this as loud as you can, “I see you, I hear you and I will not allow you to abuse me any longer!” You must feel the freedom that comes with this new fight that is awakening inside you. Once the fight is over, you will live a new life. A new book has just been written.

You are FREE! Free to Live, Love and Laugh!! 

DorothyL

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April 15, 2011 Posted by | Abuse | , , , , | 2 Comments