Self Empowerment for Women

Self-esteem, relationships, domestic violence, abuse

You are the cycle of abuse~

You are the cycle of abuse…we all are in one way or another.

Whether we realize it or not.

Have you ever thought,  how just a look or a simple word can tear apart the innocence and trust of a loved one?

Have you ever told someone to shutup, or used a very negative label through name calling?

Have you ever blatantly ignored someone for reasosn of payback?

Have you ever lost your cool and struck out at another?

All of these actions are lethal weapons and play a huge part in rendering a person helpless and demoralized. There is no love in these actions only pure destruction of what once was innocent and trusting.

It is like taking a beautiful flower and pouring acid in its dies, slowly it weakens and deteriorates until it is nothing but dust.

These are my thoughts on abuse in every way shape or form.

Below I am honored to share with you some very deep and genuine thoughts from a very dear friend of mine on the subject of abuse. He has kindly trusted me and has allowed me to share his thoughts as a guest post. This writer does not share his thoughts through research, statistics or something seen on a television show. He speaks from true grit  life experiences and his own struggles as victim and survivor of abuse.~

I introduce…. Wilmaryad Oscallas

Parents are crucial in building and strengthening their children‘s character. As cliche as it sounds, children are but a blank page on which life values are written. Teaching your kids how to get by in life mustn’t happen at the expense of their psychological and emotional well-being. Some kids are slower to grasp than others. And so what? Therefore, parents, I beg you, don’t assault your kids, physically, verbally or emotionally, because the world outside of the household will take care of that, in abundance.

Instead, nurture your children, free their shoulders from burdens they are too small to carry. Let them play, let them break things, watch them make mistakes, laugh the mistake away to avoid instilling in the kid an unnecessary sense of fatality and guilt. Trust me, you’d much rather have your kid make mistakes under your watchful eye than bottle up all those necessary steps towards learning and unleashing them in school or on the streets, which could result in dire consequences that can even lead to imprisonment.

Don’t let your anger out on your kids, because you’ll make angry adults out of them. So angry that they can’t keep friends, won’t do well in school/at work and miserably fail in romantic partnerships. If you normalize your abuse of your children as part of their upbringing, they’ll think it normal for their future partners to abuse them, too.

This doesn’t mean you should spoil your kids rotten until you lose total control over their behavior, in and out of the house. Instead of imposing things on them, teach them independence and self-reliance, by supervising their choices and enhancing their self-worth, without which they’ll grow up to be a burden on society.

Now, if you insult your kids, scream at them, and chastise them for the slightest mishap, stop for a second and monitor your actions. Kids are as deep as water wells when it comes to hiding what’s bothering them. So, don’t expect your kid to ask you to stop your tyranny. It is NEVER too late to plead guilty of ignorance, to ask for forgiveness, and to prove you’ve changed by using a more tender tone of voice and displaying less anger on your face. Your kids will, eventually, forgive you because they love you unconditionally and can’t understand why you don’t.

If you hit your daughter today, she won’t find it odd if her future boyfriend/husband abuses her, too. Chances are you’ll reprimand her for always choosing losers, forgetting that by abusing her all her life, you had cut off her wings and suffocated her emotional development in the cradle. If your abused daughter has kids, she might inflict upon them what you had inflicted upon her; but if she is self-aware, she’ll give them all the affection and care you always deprived her of.

Society is at a suicidal point because there are too many abuse victims. The world out there is a brutal jungle, where an abused lion will be eaten by his fellow lions, because he wasn’t taught how to embrace his value as a lion and masterfully rule the jungle. So, mothers and fathers, please, reconsider your approach to raising your kids. Violence only begets violence, and it may even be directed against you by your own children, someday. I’m sure you’ve all heard of people who couldn’t take any more abuse and murdered their parents. Nobody wants this to happen, right?

More at:


~As always..I look forward to your thoughts~



August 6, 2010 - Posted by | Abuse


  1. An extremely sensitive subject Dorothy, thanks for asking me to visit. I speak from experience too when I say as a child, and I think those years kids were raised differently as today, myself and to a lessor extend my brothers too, were abused by my father, verbally and physically. I am not just talking a good hiding, I am talking slapped against the head, pushed around. etc.

    Presently I have a step daughter, a lovely young girl of 11, already growing into her teens, and everyone knows what that means.
    Now I believe, as my mom’s father believed, it is not the father’s duty to give a hiding, so how do I teach her, specially now.
    Well, my wife and I decided, we have to teach her now already the way society is going to treat her. So we give her a “salary”. Whatever she does with it, is her problem, but if she spends it before the next payday, which is every friday, she has to do without. If she makes a loan, she has to pay interest, if she breaks any rules or neglects to do her chores, money is subtracted from her salary. That way she learns from an early age how to manage her money and to obey laws and rules. Her cell phone may also be confiscated in cases of “serious offenses” and kept in pound for a day or two. She is adapting well, and in my opinion she will be responsible one day when she has to look after herself.

    Thanks for asking me to leave a comment, have a lovely day.


    Comment by sexy legs and body | August 7, 2010 | Reply

  2. Dorothy,
    I am so honored and humbled to be featured on your fascinating blog!
    The issue of abuse, in all its forms, isn’t discussed enough and is often too trivialized. Everybody should monitor their actions, and always try to put themselves in the shoes of the person they’re abusing to see how it would feel before uttering or doing something that even time won’t undo.
    Your hear is pure, your mission noble.
    I admire you and thank you so very much!

    Comment by Wilmaryad | August 10, 2010 | Reply

  3. Lol… this is purely touching… You’ve created a wonderful blog showing how real world looks like.

    Comment by baniceleb | September 7, 2010 | Reply

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